The Chicago Children's Advocacy Center won a Toyota van to transport children!
Thanks to all who voted.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
Aggressive Sex and Mental Health
The first Chinese member in Congress isn't running for reelection following accusations of "aggressive and unwanted sex."
If it is not rape, (we don't know the details yet), the episode certainly has the markings of attempted rape, a violent attack. Whatever the reality, his behavior traumatized a young woman who graduated high school just last year.
Mr. Wu is getting treatment for mental health issues.
What does this mean?
It could mean that he has a mental or behavioral disorder. Mr. Wu has a right to his privacy, but there are only a few handfuls out of hundreds of mental or behavioral disorders that relate to sexual behavior. They include the parafilias, fetishes, voyeurism, Peeping Toms, pedofilia, and others.
Sometimes, during the manic episodes characteristic of mood disorders, Bi-polar Disorder, specifically, individuals can be hyper-sexual, focus upon nothing else. But that doesn't mean they attempt rape.
People addicted to cocaine or alcohol or both can be hyper-sexual, as well, under the influence. They cross boundaries, engage in behavior that they wouldn't do otherwise. Under the influence we all become uninhibited-- a bad thing, sometimes.
Or perhaps Mr. Wu's defense counsel is thinking that he might have a personality disorder. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder habitually flaunt laws because they think they can. But it is unlikely that someone who has achieved as prestigious a position as Congressman, someone with so high a profile, habitually, without guilt or detection, flaunts the law. By now someone would have noticed.
If he's narcissistic enough, he might think that No means Yes. Narcissistic thinking:: How could anyone say no to someone as charming and as attractive as me?
Or he could have a sex addiction, the latest of many powerful people to admit how hard it is to stop that compulsion, sex. We're seeing more of that in the office than ever before, and 12-Step programs work wonders to obliterate various character defects.
It's encouraging, whatever the case, that the Congressman sees that it isn't normal to force himself sexually upon women. The real question is whether or not the crime of attempted rape is being covered up with a mental health defense, one that doesn't exist. If that's the case, then he might serve time in prison, and maybe rehab, too. We're hoping that when it all shakes out in the end, that he tells his story, deters others. That would be a meaningful amends to the people who voted him into office, a real public service.
If it is not rape, (we don't know the details yet), the episode certainly has the markings of attempted rape, a violent attack. Whatever the reality, his behavior traumatized a young woman who graduated high school just last year.
Mr. Wu is getting treatment for mental health issues.
What does this mean?
It could mean that he has a mental or behavioral disorder. Mr. Wu has a right to his privacy, but there are only a few handfuls out of hundreds of mental or behavioral disorders that relate to sexual behavior. They include the parafilias, fetishes, voyeurism, Peeping Toms, pedofilia, and others.
Sometimes, during the manic episodes characteristic of mood disorders, Bi-polar Disorder, specifically, individuals can be hyper-sexual, focus upon nothing else. But that doesn't mean they attempt rape.
People addicted to cocaine or alcohol or both can be hyper-sexual, as well, under the influence. They cross boundaries, engage in behavior that they wouldn't do otherwise. Under the influence we all become uninhibited-- a bad thing, sometimes.
Or perhaps Mr. Wu's defense counsel is thinking that he might have a personality disorder. Individuals with antisocial personality disorder habitually flaunt laws because they think they can. But it is unlikely that someone who has achieved as prestigious a position as Congressman, someone with so high a profile, habitually, without guilt or detection, flaunts the law. By now someone would have noticed.
If he's narcissistic enough, he might think that No means Yes. Narcissistic thinking:: How could anyone say no to someone as charming and as attractive as me?
Or he could have a sex addiction, the latest of many powerful people to admit how hard it is to stop that compulsion, sex. We're seeing more of that in the office than ever before, and 12-Step programs work wonders to obliterate various character defects.
It's encouraging, whatever the case, that the Congressman sees that it isn't normal to force himself sexually upon women. The real question is whether or not the crime of attempted rape is being covered up with a mental health defense, one that doesn't exist. If that's the case, then he might serve time in prison, and maybe rehab, too. We're hoping that when it all shakes out in the end, that he tells his story, deters others. That would be a meaningful amends to the people who voted him into office, a real public service.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Four-year Prison Sentence for Facebook Stalker
We tell parents: Tell your kids to be careful about what they post on Facebook and to watch their privacy settings. Don't tell us where you went to school, where you live. People who know you already know that.
If the privacy settings are loose, if anyone can read the wall, then anyone can steal pictures, even find you, hurt you somehow.
The kids know we're not being unnecessarily paranoid and many are getting the idea. Everything on the Internet is permanent.
But it isn't just the kids, of course, who are vulnerable to social network stalkers. Stalking is growing. It may be the fastest growing way to pass the day for bored, unemployed people looking for a little fun, and profit.
The latest news is about a stalker, a California man who trolled Facebook pages for information that would help him hack into email accounts. Reading the wall, George Bronk learned enough about his victims to answer basic security questions about their cities of origin, schools they attended, etc. Once he hacked into their email addresses it was easy to find nude photographs and videos that women sent to their boyfriends and husbands. He distributed these to entire contact lists. The crime spans 17 states, 117 emails.
Mr. Bronk pleaded guilty to charges of computer intrusion and false impersonation. He says he was bored and unemployed and this was fun.
He had hoped to become a paramedic. Now he won't be doing that. Registered sex offenders can't be paramedics.
If the privacy settings are loose, if anyone can read the wall, then anyone can steal pictures, even find you, hurt you somehow.
The kids know we're not being unnecessarily paranoid and many are getting the idea. Everything on the Internet is permanent.
But it isn't just the kids, of course, who are vulnerable to social network stalkers. Stalking is growing. It may be the fastest growing way to pass the day for bored, unemployed people looking for a little fun, and profit.
The latest news is about a stalker, a California man who trolled Facebook pages for information that would help him hack into email accounts. Reading the wall, George Bronk learned enough about his victims to answer basic security questions about their cities of origin, schools they attended, etc. Once he hacked into their email addresses it was easy to find nude photographs and videos that women sent to their boyfriends and husbands. He distributed these to entire contact lists. The crime spans 17 states, 117 emails.
Mr. Bronk pleaded guilty to charges of computer intrusion and false impersonation. He says he was bored and unemployed and this was fun.
He had hoped to become a paramedic. Now he won't be doing that. Registered sex offenders can't be paramedics.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Kids Needing Rides
It's not something you usually think about. Take a quick look, it's a short video.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Cyberbullying-Stalking and Might Makes Right
Internet safety presenters get the greatest rise out of the audience with talk about online sexual predators. The predators exist, no question.
But the most common, most prevalent online danger to emotional health is cyberbullying, or cyberstalking. We call it cyberstalking when the perpetrator is an adult. The word bullying tends to soften intimidation, blackmail, slander, etc., tends to make it a children's crime, not really a crime, at all.
Adults bully, too, however, don't just stalk. Any time someone intimidates, threatens, verbally harasses, physically violates-- it is a manifestation of might making right. Seeking power, attention, a persona of strength, this is what drives bullying.
By definition adults make better bullies. They are more powerful. By virtue of their size and authority they can coerce children both physically and emotionally to do things they wouldn't normally do. Hence teachers are charged with sexual harassment when they have a sexual relationship with a student, even if the student initiates it. The teacher, as a professional, knows the law and is supposed to know better.
But the Internet is the great equalizer. Online, children have power, too. They know how to fake authority via anonymity and impersonation. They have the resources, the means with which to harm others. Electronic media-- digital photography, computing, texting, phones-- these are powerful tools.
In a new study, the American Osteopathic Association recently found cyberbullying to be a real issue for parents. Surveying 1000 parents, a majority showed concern about their children online and six had a child who had been bullied. We can't vouch for their methodology, i.e., how parents were found, or the reliability/ validity of the study, but we can tell you that nationally, in fifty states, the States Attorney's concur. Of all the threats facing children online, cyberbullying is the most common crime, and parents should be concerned.
Defined in the study as taunting or spreading rumors about a peer online, cyberbullying is linked to the popularity of online social media, the ease of with which kids can connect with one another on sites like Facebook.
Mental health professionals have always worked with children who suffered from bullying by other children in the schoolyard. The bully isn't usually anonymous in these cases. Other children see, several others hear, what is said or done. Intimidated, they are afraid to report, even go along with it. They participate, too, are a part of what we call, Group Think.
When teens fight on the street, when they "gang up" on other teens, it can be a right of passage, a way to be popular. Strength is attractive. When they don't outgrow the behavior, professionals see bullying as an indication of an emerging, perhaps serious personality disorder. Online bullying isn't literally physical battering but the effects certainly are. Everything psychological is physical.
The consequences for the anonymous perpetrator are minimized, a huge incentive for the behavior. It is much easier to displace anger online, to cause tremendous psychological pain via viral messages, malicious gossip, or exposure and shame, and the audience can be in the thousands. Beats the schoolyard for impact.
It is the ultimate danger of sexting, really. Pictures can go anywhere.
Victims of cyberbullying suffer anxiety and depression, lose interest in socializing, may become aggressive or withdrawn, slack off on school work. They may have suicidal thoughts, and some follow through with these.
According to the new study parents are owning responsibility to make sure their kids are okay. They discuss cyberbullying with their children and many "friend" them to monitor their interactions. Others even check security settings. That is enlightened parenting.
It is better than saying, "No Facebook for you." Barring children from social networking isn't effective, isn't even possible. It is like telling kids they can't go out and play. But discussing the possible dangers, teaching them how to avoid bullies and what to do as a victim (tell parents, contact police)-- these are first steps toward healing and prevention.
Again, it's that relationship that matters and not all kids are going to listen. But when it is obvious that a child's behavior has changed, that he or she is overly anxious, doesn't want to go online anymore, can't concentrate, or closes the browser when someone walks into the room, then it is time to have that talk, time to insist upon getting help.
Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
But the most common, most prevalent online danger to emotional health is cyberbullying, or cyberstalking. We call it cyberstalking when the perpetrator is an adult. The word bullying tends to soften intimidation, blackmail, slander, etc., tends to make it a children's crime, not really a crime, at all.
Adults bully, too, however, don't just stalk. Any time someone intimidates, threatens, verbally harasses, physically violates-- it is a manifestation of might making right. Seeking power, attention, a persona of strength, this is what drives bullying.
By definition adults make better bullies. They are more powerful. By virtue of their size and authority they can coerce children both physically and emotionally to do things they wouldn't normally do. Hence teachers are charged with sexual harassment when they have a sexual relationship with a student, even if the student initiates it. The teacher, as a professional, knows the law and is supposed to know better.
But the Internet is the great equalizer. Online, children have power, too. They know how to fake authority via anonymity and impersonation. They have the resources, the means with which to harm others. Electronic media-- digital photography, computing, texting, phones-- these are powerful tools.
In a new study, the American Osteopathic Association recently found cyberbullying to be a real issue for parents. Surveying 1000 parents, a majority showed concern about their children online and six had a child who had been bullied. We can't vouch for their methodology, i.e., how parents were found, or the reliability/ validity of the study, but we can tell you that nationally, in fifty states, the States Attorney's concur. Of all the threats facing children online, cyberbullying is the most common crime, and parents should be concerned.
Defined in the study as taunting or spreading rumors about a peer online, cyberbullying is linked to the popularity of online social media, the ease of with which kids can connect with one another on sites like Facebook.
Mental health professionals have always worked with children who suffered from bullying by other children in the schoolyard. The bully isn't usually anonymous in these cases. Other children see, several others hear, what is said or done. Intimidated, they are afraid to report, even go along with it. They participate, too, are a part of what we call, Group Think.
When teens fight on the street, when they "gang up" on other teens, it can be a right of passage, a way to be popular. Strength is attractive. When they don't outgrow the behavior, professionals see bullying as an indication of an emerging, perhaps serious personality disorder. Online bullying isn't literally physical battering but the effects certainly are. Everything psychological is physical.
The consequences for the anonymous perpetrator are minimized, a huge incentive for the behavior. It is much easier to displace anger online, to cause tremendous psychological pain via viral messages, malicious gossip, or exposure and shame, and the audience can be in the thousands. Beats the schoolyard for impact.
It is the ultimate danger of sexting, really. Pictures can go anywhere.
Victims of cyberbullying suffer anxiety and depression, lose interest in socializing, may become aggressive or withdrawn, slack off on school work. They may have suicidal thoughts, and some follow through with these.
According to the new study parents are owning responsibility to make sure their kids are okay. They discuss cyberbullying with their children and many "friend" them to monitor their interactions. Others even check security settings. That is enlightened parenting.
It is better than saying, "No Facebook for you." Barring children from social networking isn't effective, isn't even possible. It is like telling kids they can't go out and play. But discussing the possible dangers, teaching them how to avoid bullies and what to do as a victim (tell parents, contact police)-- these are first steps toward healing and prevention.
Again, it's that relationship that matters and not all kids are going to listen. But when it is obvious that a child's behavior has changed, that he or she is overly anxious, doesn't want to go online anymore, can't concentrate, or closes the browser when someone walks into the room, then it is time to have that talk, time to insist upon getting help.
Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Zapping Zappos
Ryan Holiday, director of online marketing at American Apparel is suggesting that brands consider their motives for using nudity and sexuality in ads.
"Are they doing it because they want to get attention from blogs and Web sites . . . or are they doing it because it's the ad campaign that speaks most truly to who they are and what they want to sell?"
He’s talking about the new Zappos advertising campaign. Models will henceforth be modeling au natural. They will be featured walking, cycling, living life wearing nothing at all. We, the consumers, are supposed to dress them, imagine them with clothes on. Quite a switch, isn't it?
Zappos is hoping buyers will also read the text below the visuals. The text will tell them what's for sale. Photos of nude models are not (please say there will be no actual photos). Website photos are free (you're on your honor) on the Internet.
Are they doing it because they want to get attention from blogs? If so, hopefully the feedback will influence Zappo's ad campaign. Selling sex is nothing new. In therapy we call this: objectification and sexploitation. In this case it is objectification and sexploitation in advertizing.
We could say that posing seductively, even nude, for a camera is voluntary. No one should criticize the right to that. And traditionally, attractive young people with skills or not, with college degrees or not, seek jobs in the glamor industries. Careers like acting and modeling are attractive, especially when your best features are your looks. Beauty sells. No coercion is necessary, nobody is twisting anyone’s arm to strike a sexual pose, to wear scanty clothes, or to model nude. The money is incentive, sometimes under the guise of art.
The money is why so many people raise their hand for the job.
But everything on the Web is permanent and replicable. That's why there's risk to this business. It is mostly about risk to the next generation. Ten years from now, as parents of elementary school children, models who pose au natural, with no clothes, for whatever reason, may have children who care. And these children may be more vulnerable, even, to emotional abuse and blackmail, than their parents, by virtue of their age.
You can picture it, other children taunting them with digital files, hard copies. In color. Those very same advertisements.
Something for show and tell.
What could be worth that price? The Zappo ad campaign is negligent, irresponsible corporate thinking. Dangerous stuff.
Exposure like this, public embarrassment, drives psychological pain and suffering. The shame begs therapy, and shame, some of us think, drives the mental health industry. The economy of psychological health tilts on the heels of this kind of corporate decision making.
New social work and psychology grads won't have to worry about a therapist glut. There will never be too many of them. Not the way things seem to be going.
Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
"Are they doing it because they want to get attention from blogs and Web sites . . . or are they doing it because it's the ad campaign that speaks most truly to who they are and what they want to sell?"
He’s talking about the new Zappos advertising campaign. Models will henceforth be modeling au natural. They will be featured walking, cycling, living life wearing nothing at all. We, the consumers, are supposed to dress them, imagine them with clothes on. Quite a switch, isn't it?
Zappos is hoping buyers will also read the text below the visuals. The text will tell them what's for sale. Photos of nude models are not (please say there will be no actual photos). Website photos are free (you're on your honor) on the Internet.
Are they doing it because they want to get attention from blogs? If so, hopefully the feedback will influence Zappo's ad campaign. Selling sex is nothing new. In therapy we call this: objectification and sexploitation. In this case it is objectification and sexploitation in advertizing.
We could say that posing seductively, even nude, for a camera is voluntary. No one should criticize the right to that. And traditionally, attractive young people with skills or not, with college degrees or not, seek jobs in the glamor industries. Careers like acting and modeling are attractive, especially when your best features are your looks. Beauty sells. No coercion is necessary, nobody is twisting anyone’s arm to strike a sexual pose, to wear scanty clothes, or to model nude. The money is incentive, sometimes under the guise of art.
The money is why so many people raise their hand for the job.
But everything on the Web is permanent and replicable. That's why there's risk to this business. It is mostly about risk to the next generation. Ten years from now, as parents of elementary school children, models who pose au natural, with no clothes, for whatever reason, may have children who care. And these children may be more vulnerable, even, to emotional abuse and blackmail, than their parents, by virtue of their age.
You can picture it, other children taunting them with digital files, hard copies. In color. Those very same advertisements.
Something for show and tell.
What could be worth that price? The Zappo ad campaign is negligent, irresponsible corporate thinking. Dangerous stuff.
Exposure like this, public embarrassment, drives psychological pain and suffering. The shame begs therapy, and shame, some of us think, drives the mental health industry. The economy of psychological health tilts on the heels of this kind of corporate decision making.
New social work and psychology grads won't have to worry about a therapist glut. There will never be too many of them. Not the way things seem to be going.
Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
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