Monday, October 29, 2018

What You’re Up Against When You Claim: Sexual Harassment

The psychiatric community “explains away” accusations of sexual harassment. How so? 
Harassment claims are explained away, sometimes, by exposing the plaintiff’s psychological defense mechanisms. Most mental health professionals, no matter their particular discipline — psychology, counseling, social work, psychiatry, etc., have been introduced, if not buried, in psychodynamic theory. The theory is based upon Freud’s brilliant observations about the human psyche.
We’re all familiar with some of it. When we don’t want to see something about ourselves (or someone we love), because it hurts too much, most of us have the ability to simply not see it — classic denial. A supervisor tells us that our work isn’t what it should be, and we immediately reject the assessment, think it as biased or to his benefit. It might be, but it might not. Pretty normal denial.
Displacement is another defense. If we have been treated poorly in the past, either as a child or an adult, but were powerless at the time to do anything about it, we might want to unleash that unresolved trauma to another available target, at a more opportune time, under safer, more socially accepting circumstances. Children do this when they are bullied. They can’t push back against an older sibling or a parent, but they can displace anger to a more vulnerable peer.
Denial (not me) and misattribution or displacement (you) are said to be primitive psychological defenses, and yet we all have them, we’re all children at times. But most of us won’t push back to the degree that we’ll deliberately retaliate with a claim of sexual harassment.
If we do, we better be ready to defend our very lives, our histories. Somehow they will be transparent.
When allegations are driven by a plaintiff’s unresolved psychological history, they are referred to as “factitious claims,” a psychiatric forensic phrase coined in 1996 by Sara Feldman-Schorrig. Factitious claims serve as a means of gaining validation and recognition for being in a sick role, playing the victim. Psychiatrists Alicia Bales and James Spar see factitious claims as a means of seeking social support, but also a way to express anger for a previous victimization. The gain is all psychological; it isn’t about making money.
Bales and Spar refer to other defenses, beyond denial and displacement. A “repetition compulsion,” for example, is a psychological need to attribute the features of someone from the past to someone in the present in order to “master” old trauma. A pattern is established in relationships to work out earlier abuse or neglect by finding other people with similar qualities. If my father is a stern, distant fellow, and my boss is as well, then I might perceive my boss to be something of a monster. Rational or not, I feel compelled to bring him down. The defendant’s counsel will be sure to seek that out, the father projection, and bring it forward. Another win for forensic psychiatry and for the employer, most likely.
“Reaction formation” is the tendency to have an exaggerated response to an insult or a rejection. A person might respond to a flirtation initially, might even like the flattery, and the co-worker or boss who flatters her. If it is cut off, however, for whatever reason, the abandonment could hit hard, become a psychological trigger. An abandoned, enraged, scorned employee may choose to file a suit. This makes a very good case to discourage romance in the workplace. People don’t like rejection, and some will respond vengefully.
Bales and Spar call for a fair look at all sexual harassment claims, never an assumption that reports are based upon the plaintiffs fantasies, but a close examination of the context. Nevertheless, to ignore the plaintiff’s motives is short-sighted. Each false allegation has the potential to harm an innocent defendant financially, socially, and psychologically.
It is hard to hear all of this, for in the end it comes across as victim-blaming, the patriarchal profession of psychiatry wielding the same anti-feminist sword about neuroses, traditionally female neuroses. But the authors of these psychiatric opinions are gender neutral, cite references to males who have filed suit, too, and lost.
The coming avalanche of sexual harassment claims will be vetted, to be sure, for psychological issues, and they may be won or lost based upon the plaintiff’s past, among other things. A deep-seated motivation driving a need for justice may provide grounds to dismiss the case.
With each case, too, both the defense and the plaintiff have exhausted considerable emotional and financial reserves. The plaintiff suffers yet another blow, hasn’t resolved the repeated compulsion, hasn’t worked out any of the past. The defendant, who should walk away happy, is likely to have suffered social and economic consequences in the waiting, perhaps demotion, dismissal, social ostracism, or marital discord.
These cases are good for no one. The company should either prevent these cases (optimal solution) or bring in a professional team to work with both plaintiff and defendant. Will everyone need therapy, otherwise, in the end?
Guaranteed.

Monday, October 15, 2018

What Parents Need to Tell Their Kids so that They Report Sexual Assault to THEM




Elizabeth Bernstein’s piece in the Wall Street Journal about the reasons women do not report sexual assault answers the President’s query that if the accusations against Judge Kavanaugh are true, then his accusers would have said something way back then. Or sometime since then.

It isn't a new subject. An abundance of cultural, sociological, psychological, structural, and economic literature (you need academic access to the data bases) links under-reporting with sexual assault and harassment. 

But even as this psycho-education seeps into the national consciousness, skeptics still ask the President's question and another: 

If these rapes are unreported, then how do they (the experts) really know? Where do they get their numbers?

The answer is that agencies sponsor studies and collect statistics about crime. The Center for Disease Prevention, for one, reporting annually, finds that one in five women are violently raped each year. Another, the Bureau of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey (NCVS), is an annual survey of a representative sample of households that asks about reported and unreported violent crimes, including rape and attempted sexual assault. In one such study, teenagers 16-19 years of age have been found to be 3.5 times more likely to experience sexual assault than the general population.

And they don’t all tell their parents.

The consequences of not telling—years of psychological haunting, shame, self-blame for drinking, for simply being there, social withdrawal, academic failure, depression, anxiety, relationship fears—the manifestations of post-traumatic stress are founded in the professional literature, as well.   

Parents wanting to change that, wanting to help, who wish their children to confide in them, should this type of violence ever happen (and it might), will need to be nonjudgmental and unconditionally supportive. They'll need to bring the conversation to the dinner table, ready with not statistics, but with the reasons men rapeprimary among them the pressure to be male, to prove it in this perverse way. They should be armed with a list of the 20 rape myths, such as women (girls) dress a certain way, or drink because they want to be raped.* 

To gain the confidence of their children, parents will have to assure confidentiality, and they may need to let go the idea of reporting if their child is against it, if she or he opts out. It isn’t the craziest thing, the decision not to report—as Ms. Bernstein’s article makes abundantly clear.

*A link to sexual harassment myths. Rape-myths pre-date them and I'll post those another time, along with the many reasons men rape.  

P.S. Looking for a picture of a girl torn to pieces about a rape (it's on that mac somewhere), I found these notes for an article I presented to the Council for Social Work Education about what social workers can do about on-campus sexual violence (2006).

20-59% of all college women suffer sexual assault between 16-24, 87-95% acquaintances
higher incidence with athletics, beliefs in myths and sex roles

why victims don’t report
Don’t think campus police will be helpful, they blame the victim
Too long a wait in the ER
Fear of reprisal by a stalkinga assailant
feeling overwhelmed, ashamed, or too humiliated to face others
fear they won’t be believed or taken seriously and secondary retraumatization
not knowing it was rape
not wanting family or significant others to find out
not wanting to hurt an acquaintance rapist’s chance for a better future
fear of getting in trouble for underaged drinking

But add these, too: 
  • People think, not everyone needs to know. Anything sexual is personal.
  • There’s dread, embarrassment, and humiliation regarding reporting and the whole event.
  • Targets and actors believe bad things don’t happen unless it is deserved, the just world philosophy. Somehow, they think, the target is responsible. Both players find reasons, which diminishes the actor’s (or bystanders/friends) guilt/anxiety/compassion, worsening the consequences for the target.
  • Targets of sexual harassment fear being perceived as weak, dependent, vulnerable, or incapable of handling their lives on their own— all the things women tell men that they are not in the feminist paradigm.
  • Fear of inviting more negative attention, comments, jokes, behavior, retaliation, both during and after the report. 
  • The expectation that the story will be minimized or worse, not believed.
  • Telling over the story has been compared to a “second rape” if it isn’t received in an empathetic, supportive way. “Just world” thinking would contribute to that (you must have deserved it).
  • Guilt and avoidance, not wanting to see the perpetrator dismissed. Targets of sexual harassment often tolerate abuse, protect the very person who is making them miserable, will even make excuses for him.

Linda Freedman, PhD
Chicago, Illinois

Thursday, October 11, 2018

Sexual Harassment Myths

The great thing about a blog is that you don't have to cite the source. So for lazy academics in a hurry to get stuff out to the masses, that works!  I'm in the middle of an article about Why Men Rape (will post some of the reasons here, probably one at a time), but as soon as I can will post the source for these.

Meanwhile, you get a screenshot of one of my powerpoint slides.

Here you go.

Sexual harassment myths

Linda Freedman, PhD
Institute for Clinical Social Work


Sunday, October 7, 2018

What Susan Collins Could Have Said

Susan Collins on her vote to confirm Kavanaugh
Those who believe in social justice and equality, equal treatment under law, are very upset about the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh.  It is a step backward socially and politically for this country.

Why say that? Socially, sure. But politically?

The Supreme Court is the very court that defined sexual harassment at a propitious point in our political history. The rape of employees — sex against their will involuntary sexual relations, became a type of sex discrimination, one of the three types of sexual harassment. Sexual discrimination in employment had been illegal as far back as the Civil Rights Act of 1964. But harassing on the basis of sex in the workplace became a criminal act following the High Court's hearing of Vinson v Meritor Bank in 1986.

Mechelle Vinson put up with demands for sex, pawing, public humiliation, and rape, from her boss fearing dismissal otherwiseuntil she could no longer take it anymore, quit, and sued Meritor Bank. This became the first "hostile environment" case to come before the Supreme Court. The judges found it despicable and ruled that the hostile environment based upon sex to be a type of sex discrimination.

The Supreme Court has heard many other cases since then, many quid pro quo, many about gender harassment (a second type of hostile environment), others about unwanted sexual attention. Women have been protected to the extent that their resources, evidence, and energy hold up during litigation.

Now what will happen?  Will employment decisions, definitions, roll back to the States? How did a man accused of attempted rape become an appointee to the Supreme Court, anyway?

Let's answer just that question because it is easy.  He's brilliant and accomplished, and has a majority — only because a woman (who shouldn't have) Susan Collins, voted for him, as did a male Democrat (who shouldn't have) Joe Manchin III (struggling to keep his democratic seat in West Virginia — a red state).  Manchin could have, should have, voted like his fellow Democrats, but decided to stick with his own best interests. This is the answer to the question, self-interest.

Politics is a selfish business. Stay in office, forget your own personal scruples.

So Manchin, we understand, almost. But Susan Collins truly failed us. A Republican, but a woman, too, a traitor, so to speak, who deciding the evidence too weak against Kavanaugh, who wondered perhaps, if Christine Blasey Ford was assaulted by someone else.

This conclusion leads some of us to be believe Collins surely is not one of the one in five who have suffered a rape, nor is she a one in four who beat off an attempted rape.  Because the face of the person who holds you down is not a face that you ever forget.

She had the opportunity to change history, to change a process, and she blew it. She could have said something that would truly change history. She could have, in the process, depoliticized the Supreme Court:
Judge Kavanaugh may be innocent, he may be guilty; his guilt is unclear. But that there is even a suspicion of doubt about his character as a High Court Justice of these United States, I am compelled to say NO to his appointment.
This country needs men and women with no history as a possible perpetrator of exploitation or abuse. For this position, especially, the country needs independent, fair-minded men and women who do not, have never, succumbed to group think, who do not do what the other boys do, will not merely vote a certain way because it is expected, by a group, to do so. This is the Supreme Court. The judges need to be that, supreme, the cream of the crop, individuated and fair, inscrutable.
So NO, Mr. Chairman. I vote no.
The confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh in the highest echelons of American power and politics tells us that the majority of the powerful have not learned anything about the essence and perversion of power, and closed their eyes to the prevalence, the classlessness of exploitation. It is confirmation that women are still a minority. Tell your daughters, friends, that they MUST run for positions of power to turn that around, and tell your sons-- be individuated, fair, and always, kind.

At some point, people like Susan Collins will age out.

Linda Freedman, PhD

Monday, February 12, 2018

General Welsh and the Reason for Sexual Assault

I wrote this on Medium.com, about how the General didn't get it, did not understand rape myths and basically blamed the victim, or our "permissive society." There are so many untruths about relationships, and men in particular are socialized in ways that empower them to aggress in sexual ways.

So read this one for more on that. The General and Rape Myths


Informed Consent

About informed consent for sex. This is a clean video. I like it.



To review the main points, which go beyond No Means No:

1. People need to be "of age" or sex is a crime. The age differs from state to state

2. If either or both individuals are impaired by alcohol, even if they are of an age to consent, they can't-- they're impaired, should talk about it before they become impaired, or not at all.

3. Consent should be given given freely, with enthusiasm, not be coaxed or coerced in anyway. 

4. Even if a person says Yes in one moment, consent can be taken back, reconsidered, denied, and that's as it should be. The new "No" needs to be respected, not the old "Yes". 

5. Consent is about specific behaviors, it is not global. So someone might not mind doing one thing, but does mind doing another, and that's the way it should go. Force and assumptions in sex are against the law, even if a couple are married or in a committed partnership.

6.  Consent on one day does not mean consent on another, or in the future. 


7.  Silence, sleep, is not consent.

Linda Freedman, PhD, founder of Relationship-Wise.