Katherine Schwarzenegger has famous parents. Her father, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is the Governor of California. Her mother, Maria Shriver, a veteran journalist.
Katherine apparently has her mother's writing acumen because she's written a book, Rock What You've Got: Secrets to Loving Your Inner and Outer Beauty From Someone Who's Been There and Back.
It's about body image, how girls struggle with it.
Body image is a projection of self, really. All kinds of things build self-appreciation or self-esteem, even self-love, but it takes only a few negative messages to tear it down. A parent's critical remark-- You're getting so fat! --speaks volumes. We learn who we are from our first mirrors, our parents.
And you have to love you, is the truth, if you want to stand up to the big bad world. You have to love you if you want the courage to stand up for yourself, to establish boundaries, to protect yourself-- not only in intimate relationships but with everyone.
Ms. Schwarzenegger stresses in her book that girls work on their relationships with their mothers, that moms are the anti negative body image drug (our language, our interpretation), which makes great sense to us. Unfortunately, if a parent is part of the problem, bringing a therapist to the table is a good idea. Body image is important enough for that. Mothers can make indelible impressions, become formidable foes, usually completely unintentionally.
We learn that our author's parents were protective and tried to shield the family as much as possible from the public eye. They eschewed the celebrity trappings that can define Los Angeles like no other town. She tells us, "We practiced community service. We went to school and camp like normal kids." A real tribute to her family.
And yet, apparently, she felt self-conscious about her weight and tried to keep it under 100 pounds at one point. That's usually a symptom of Anorexia Nervosa, an eating disorder. It didn't become an obsession, however, didn't meet the criterion of a diagnosis.
What was it then? We hear
a competition with a friend.Kid stuff. To a professional, however, it's unhealthy competition and screams low self-esteem. And Ms. Shriver concurs, basically tells us that this is the a corollary to what is becoming competition to be thin and sexy, even for pre-teens.
Friends are supposed to build you up, right? I'm sure we're going to read more about that in the book. Looking forward to it.
Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT
I wonder what the mental health professionals think of this not-quite-an-eating-disorder disorder. What's the treatment? How do people get treated when most don't want to discuss their weight?
ReplyDeleteI ask because I feel like I have a similar problem. I don't know how to tell my therapist. I was so resistant to talking about my body that she stopped asking because I got so upset. At 5'6" and 105 pounds, I'm not emaciated, but thin. I'm happy with how I look and want to stay this way, but I'm also troubled by how much I want to stay this way.
Where's the line between body-consciousness and trouble?
Generally we think of body-conscious as a good sign, not a bad one, but it's the obsessiveness that determines the line. Your doctor can tell you if you're physically healthy, and your therapist can chime in on the emotional/mental health piece. Of course, if you're not talking about certain things, the therapist, not a mind-reader, will have a much harder time knowing what you're worried about. This is probably full of emotion for you and it's worth it, assuming you feel safe with your therapist, to talk it out.
ReplyDelete