Congressional Role Models

I had his picture up, but didn't want it on my blog, took it down.

Photo of Rep. Christopher Lee, New York Daily News

Governors, Congressmen, Presidents-- important people-- get caught in scandals every day.

Well maybe not every day, but it happens. We should be used to it, but there are so many ways to get into trouble, we're almost looking, unconsciously, for something new, every time we open our browsers to catch the news.

Sometimes the scandal goes away quickly, as this one might for Rep. Christopher Lee (NY). The congressman resigned immediately. But we won't forget his picture, a risk he took as soon as he emailed it to a young woman he met on Women Looking for Men. Craig's List classifieds.

That's the lesson, obviously. Mail the picture? You can lose it forever.

Sometimes the scandal, the reputation, lives on. Who doesn't remember the Monica Lewinsky affair, and President Clinton's defense? It wasn't terribly convincing, and his cover insulted the intelligence of the American people.

What we hate most, much more than the deception, is hypocrisy. We don't like important people purporting to be other than they are. Yet to be elected, everyone has to do this, exaggerate their wholesomeness. So some of us don't even mind the lies, the hypocrisy, in fact, we find it kind of cute. Expected.

Mr. Lee resigned because the woman he wanted to hook up with doubted his veracity and sent Gawker copies of his emails. She then cut off the relationship.

He apparently lied about:

(1) his age, shaved off seven years to a more virile 39,

(2) his profession, claimed to be a lobbyist, and

(3) his marital status, divorced. He's married with a young son.

"A very fit fun classy guy" who would not "disappoint."

He surely disappointed someone, many.

You should know that the cut off, should a man be looking for younger girls, is 39. A day over 40 and the chances of finding her diminish.

You have to wonder,

Who needs this much excitement?

That is at the core of this type of behavior, a need for excitement.

Now Mr. Lee will have to figure out another way to find it. Maybe his wife will stick with him, perhaps they'll work together on it. People used to play golf, cards, play tennis, go to marriage counseling to liven up the commitment, make it feel less of a trap.

Cheating on a spouse, having someone on the side, is nothing new, not really. You would think, however, that with all the exposure of electronic media, the immediacy of a public profile, knowing (he must know!) that privacy is truly a thing of the past, that a person who depends upon positive exposure would be more careful. You would think a person could resist this.

Obsession, addiction, Mr. Lee will call it something, offer an apology to his family, his constituents, an explanation. But it's a hard essay to write,

Why I Couldn't Resist Having an Affair with a Woman I Found . . . 

                  on Craig's List

without admitting that at heart, you're not quite ready to represent your constituents.

Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT