Sexual Assault and Ben Roethlisberger

Not me, he's saying. I didn't do it.

And the student who accused him has given up, sees a drawn-out court battle against a powerful adversary that's just not worth it. The truth is that most sexual assault victims lose in court when the perpetrator is a professional athlete. We love our teams, our heroes.

Ben Roethlisberger, the Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback, followed a 20-year-old college coed into a nightclub bathroom only to find that she didn't want sex after all.

In Georgia (as in most states) , to prosecute sexual assault, force must be evident-- beyond a reasonable doubt. Fred Bright, the Ocmulgee Circuit District Attorney, concluded

the overall circumstances do not lead to a viable prosecution. If they did, I would be pursuing it vigorously. . .We do not prosecute morals. We prosecute crimes.

The Yahoo story asserts that on March 5, after a night of bar-hopping in Milledgeville, Georgia, Roethlisberger was out drinking with friends to celebrate his 28th birthday. He bumped into the student and her friends throughout the night and eventually bought them drinks.

As the night wore on, the student walked down a dingy hallway to a small bathroom, and Roethlisberger soon followed. What happened next remained unclear even after a monthlong investigation.

The student told police she had been sexually assaulted, but the medical results were less clear. A doctor who examined her at a nearby emergency room discovered a cut, bruises and vaginal bleeding but could not say if she was raped. And while some DNA was found, there was not enough to determine whom it belonged to. . .

Mr. Roethlisberger's name has been associated previously with rape allegations, also denied, at a Lake Tahoe hotel. But this isn't an unusual story. Pro athletes, college athletes, even high school athletes are adored by loving fans. Some women consider having an athlete as a sexual partner to be real status. Others, "groupies" or "freaks" seek multiple liaisons, any athlete will do. But they are a small club.

Even among this star-gazing culture, nobody seeks rape or sexual assault.

Worshiping the men and women who win the games is universal, one of the few cultural characteristics that is universal, like a smile. Internationally, those who excel at their sport are a pride to their cities, their countries. They have special status, high incomes, and perks that most of us can only dream about, fancy cars, gourmet food, unlimited expense accounts, penthouse suites, and sure, beautiful women, handsome men trailing after them.

And all they have to do is play the game, follow the rules, do what they can to make the home town cheer.

That wouldn't include violent sexual assault.

So how does it happen, and why?

There's a disconnect for some people, an empathy deficit. That it hurts, rape, should be obvious, but it isn't obvious, apparently, not obvious enough. And sex, like eating, is an appetite. Some people don't eat with good manners, and likewise, some don't sex with good manners.

Relationship skills, how to eat, how to love, are usually taught in a family context. When the team is your family, when you've left home or never learned your manners growing up, then it is up to the team to make sure that you behave.

Reading on at Yahoo

Team president Art Rooney II, known to be frustrated and exasperated with Roethlisberger's lack of maturity and judgment, said the quarterback must win back the respect and trust of his teammates and his city.

"During the past few weeks, I have met with Ben on a number of occasions, not only to discuss this incident, but also to discuss his commitment to making sure this never happens again," Rooney said in a statement.

Consider a little professional intervention here, Mr. Rooney.

Like using the power of your team.

Linda Freedman