Are 'Sext' Messages Teenage Felony or Folly?

I was talking to an Illinois Congressman at a party after a funeral, of all things, and he asked me what I do when I'm not going to funerals.

"I give workshops to kids and faculty in schools, camps, and community centers, corporations-- on sexual harassment and bullying. It's become very hot now, but I've studied it for years, started it when someone hired me to do some research on rape. So now I'm into awareness and prevention. Less therapy for everyone."

He tells me that very soon Illinois will pass a law that eliminates felony charges for sexting. "It's crazy," he says, "to prosecute kids for doing what everyone else is doing. They don't know any better."

Which of course, is how it is. Most kids just want other kids to like them, and everyone has a phone with a camera, most can record video with sound. Teachers tell me they're afraid to talk freely with students for fear that they'll be caught saying something that might cost them their jobs.

They don't know any better --the congressman's words. We can warn them about permanence of Internet communication, and the danger of having photos with whiskey bottles on Facebook, how that might affect a scholarship or job prospect. But it's not enough, doesn't get to the heart of the matter.

Today's Wall Street Journal, (Nathan Koppel and Ashby Jones) tackles the sexting debate, defines sexting as:

the practice of sending nude or sexually suggestive photos by cell-phone.

So let's get to the heart of it.

Sexting, as a form of distribution of child pornography, is a relatively new phenomenon that is considered a felony in most states. Legislators and professionals who work with children are looking for other ways to approach the problem. The distribution of child pornography is not generally the intention of the message.

Chris Newlin of the National Children's Advocacy Center narrows the polemic to (a) bringing the hammer down, or (b) taking an individualized approach, like consulting with parents to decide what to do.

The matter is complicated when the picture that is circulating is generated to bully the victim. It's not that way, however, when romantic teenage couples share nude photos of themselves with one another, only.

As a form of valentine, sexting is still dangerous, however. When they break up, for they usually do in adolescence, the temptation to share the photos can be irresistible. When pictures are shared by many, then it really is no different than distributing child porn.

Now we're talking jail time, first offense 10 days inside.

Marjorie Esman of the ACLU opines that information about ourselves is not subject to governmental control, that the felony is a violation of the First Amendment. All eighth grade graduates know which one that is.

Jonathon Paton, a sponsor of new legislation that prohibits incarceration, tells us that the law gives prosecutors the

". . . option to put a squeeze on minors, . . . (without) something on their records forever."

That's one goal, obviously. Nobody wants anything like this on a permanent record.

Assemblywoman Pam Lampitt, also according to WSJ, tells it this way. Be logical:

"Look, kids do stupid things, impulsive things, all the time."

And Mary Leary, law professor at the Catholic University of America, who specializes in child exploitation reminds us that:

"The notion that this is simply innocuous behavior. . . ignores the circulation of images for eternity. . ."

No doubt. And the only way to combat all of this is to educate everyone. In this therapist's humble opinion, young people and older people, meaning adults, need to understand the essence of pornography, especially child pornography, why it is damaging, why it can be unalterably abusive. Objectification harms the object, an object that happens to be a person). But it also demeans the individual who consciously or unconsciously objectifies, lowers another person to object status.

They're talking about educating in the schools. It's about time.

Finally we're getting the picture.

Linda Freedman, PhD, LCSW, LMFT